Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
