Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
