This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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