Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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