Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
