I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
