yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
