And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
