All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
