i just wanna soil my oats bro
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
