next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
