im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
