I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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