found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
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............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I forget how to act sober
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