Non-Jews are for practice
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
