At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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