After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Damn victory sex feels great
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