Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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