I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize