Hey man sorry I got all grabby
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
