he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
