After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize