I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
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I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
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His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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