One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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