I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
