this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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