he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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