I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
