we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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