Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
