Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
