we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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