my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
