In the future we'll all be gay
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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