she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
