There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
