Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Someone signed my nipple.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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