bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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