Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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