Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
