Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
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running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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