that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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