i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
