I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
