I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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