I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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