Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
