I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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