The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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