I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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