Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
the day after is always just damage control
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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