so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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