You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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