Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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