2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
