I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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