They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
