I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
