Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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