nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
